cikawin

Entry kali ini akan panjang..hehe..

1. 7-11 jan. aku di kedah. Labu Besar- Pdg Meha (near Kulim). for a program, conducted by Am. in SMK Labu Besar, yg ada replika sebijik buah labu depan skul. impressed.
Smap Labu pun takde menatang tu.

the program, Pumpkin Race was a great 3 days to spend a break after a month of hard work (exaggerate, kan?). the trip/program was kinda mind-soothing for me. for a moment, i felt like having another life beside the one i had now. (and I didn’t care if my phone was quite those days..no sms or call. hehe)

first tima aku join Pumpkin Race..
the program? ask me, my answer is: the program opened up a vast new perspective to me. of how to achieve goals, about strategy to win, about time management, about defining things in my life, about differenciating what’s worth and what’s not, about setting a target and know your strength and limit to achieve it and about accepting loss, but not surrender your faith that you can do better next time. about not giving up, what ever it is, and do what ever it takes. and knowing that at the end of each day, u can share defeat and victory with someone close to u. (which I regret of not having one, aside from my family n frens, yg aku salu x cerita masalah kat diorang)

i went there with loads of stress n problems. of course, nothing changed. the problems are still there. but the difference is, after all the time spent in Kedah, i have more faith in myself. if they can do it, so do I. and realizing that i’m more fortunate than thousands others, Alhamdullillah..
grief is never an option.

be strong and steadfast, cikawin.

i feel much better to face realities of life. well, at least realities in my life right here, right now. Thanks a million Am, for making it happened.

2. 11 Jan.aku di Ulu Legong hot spring
having a taste of how my thermophilic bacteria lives (hehe).

such a great trip. the warm water washed away my tiredness. relaxing my mind and body, and feeling at peace with nature. berendam 3-4 jam dlm air suam. main macam kanak-kanak tak hingat, (bila am n kak khalidah pi toilet. hehe) and buat challenge for am to cross the ‘hot’ water. jahat ini budak..

the best part was the QA game we had. Am, kak khalidah, Abg tra, “abang” zali and I, sat in a circle and everyone start popping questions and each answered in turn. it was awesome. apart from knowing others better, i found out a lot about myself too, by asking the little minx cikawin inside me. hehe.. oh, rupe2nya…. (some reveal-able facts):
• i dreamed of a not-so-garden-wedding-but-something-with-fresh-flowers theme for a wedding and a plain wedding gown.
• Kalau aku lelaki, first thing aku nak buat ialah buli kakak aku
• Aku nak 4,5 atau 6 org anak in future
• The most romantic thing I did was making cards to my loved one and wrote my own words inside it. (want do to more in future!)
• Aku rasa mak mentua aku nanti akan lebih sayang anak dia drp aku. huhu
• Benda yang paling penting (selain drp yg memang penting) ialah bila aku rasa redha, yakin dan tenang dengan hidup sendiri.
• Aku suke tengok ibu jari kaki orang. Especially guys yg aku suke.
• Aku tak ingat physical appearance orang, tapi aku akan ingat ape dia cakap and the feeling he/she creates inside me.
• Bila aku gundah gulana, aku hanya mahu kamu di sisi, mendengar, bersetuju dengan aku (walaupun aku nak mengeji org lain, dan aku salah.sila betulkan aku bila gundah gulana itu sudah berlalu), tanpa memberi nasihat sebelum dipinta dan jangan persoal kenapa aku perlu sedih.
• Aku tak tahu lagu paling sentimental aku..
• Aku tak penah fall for my best friend
• Bila aku suka orang, aku tak bagitahu. Aku akan senyum (senyuman termaniskah?) dan pandang mata dia je.. dan mencari jawapan sama ada dia suke aku ke tak..(terus mendapat nasihat drp orang lain supaya lebih berani utk memberitahu- ah, I hope to find the courage when I find the right guy) perhaps, I have the courage..and the guy??
• Aku baru tahu, ade orang suke pempuan gedik,bimbo and blond.. hehe..sori lah, aku bukan semacam tuh.. boleh tak kalau.. aku tanak gedik ngan sume orang, aku nak gedik ngan suami aku je nanti..cantik2 depan suami aku je. Kamu nak ke, pempuan gedik, bimbo dan asik nak bermekap jadi isteri kamu, di bawa balik ke umah mak ayah kamu dan dia mendidik anak2 kamu kelak..
• Aku nak masak nasik lemak first day kat umah mentua aku nanti. Hahaha

Berguna ke info2 nih? Hehehe..sangat berguna. Last but not least, ada 1 soalan yg masih bermain dalam fikiran aku. Mari kita menjawab.

Antara istana keseksaan dan penjara kebahagiaan, pilih yang mana. Aku jawab penjara kebahagiaan. Ye ke?

Hm, dan aku terfikir, macam mana pulak dengan istana ketakbahagiaan (at least x terseksa)…adakah jawapan aku masih sama? Mungkin.

Sebab, aku tak mau setiap hari mengintai ke luar dari jendela istana ku nanti…
aku mahu hidup dalam penjara atau istana ku, bahagia dengan dunia sendiri dan mereka2 yang di dalamnya..terutamanya dia..

Dia yang mungkin belum ku temui,
Belum ku sebut namanya lagi.

Dia,
Yang dari tulang rusuk kirinya aku tercipta,
Untuk dia,
Untuk bahagia.

3. demam..
Ya, aku sudah demam. (menjadi orang demam yang suke mengomel) Tapi sket je demamnya..harap2nya kifarah tarbiah dari Pencipta. syukur hanya demam, sedangkan saudaraku di palestin…lebih teruk lagi.
Ya Allah,wansur muslimin fi kulli makan..
Amin.

*special thanks to Am. Kak Ji and family, kak Khalidah, “abang” zali, abg tra and everyone~!

The Gentlemen of Deeds

*gambar2 lain di friendster.